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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

X'mas Time Is Here, Yuletide greetings

The Little Matchstick Girl
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I woke up today feeling all strange. It was like every other morning I woke up into, but everything just seems so weird. Perhaps while I was sleeping, the world I knew just disappeared and I was absorbed into another. Well, only one way to tell, get out of bed and into the world.

It was really funny how people stared at me. Everyone seems so bizarre, I don't understand what they are all doing. They seem to be trying to tell me something, but I can't comprehend what they say or do. They make weird gestures and seem to be babbling something in some foreign tongue. Why can't we understand each other? What is strange, what is weird, can someone tell me how to differentiate what is normal and what is weird. Can anyone comprehend me, is there anyway we can reach an understanding? In all my frustration, I started acting out. I waved my arms in exasperation. The frantic movements of my body seem to draw some attention to some people. They look at me with eyes that shot daggers straight into my heart. I am not funny, I am not dysfunctional, we just don't understand each other. Stop looking at me this way, I screamed and shouted in protest.


As such, they restrained me and held me down, afraid that I might hurt myself or others around me. Funny thing, looking at their efforts to calm me seem to have a tranquilising effect. I relaxed and they let out a sigh of relief. After what seems like an eternity, they finally let me go.

Later in the afternoon, I was led up a bus and to another place I do not know. There seems to be a lot of wrinkly people in here and also most of them have these strange bags with tubes leading down and attached to their arms. However, I was not afraid though they seem so different from me. The people who came with me brought me to this elderly woman and sat me down by her. I attempted to speak my language to her in vain hope of having at least one other person who understands me. I gestured in huge motions. All my efforts were in vain, she did not speak my tongue. What she did was something I did not expect. She held my hand in hers and spoke softly with a kind expression. I thought the world does not understands me, but here she is speaking without words, in a tongue that provides me warmth. I smiled.


Another day, another dollar. My life is so mundane, nothing changes, nothing turns out for the better. The holiday season has a nagging effect of exaggerating the loneliness that I feel. All my friends are attached and my family only makes it worse. Going to my siblings' home, I feel that they are so blessed, they are lucky to have someone to support them and grow old with them. However, I only wish that they will shut it with their nagging about me finding a mate. Its not like I have not been trying, but with work from dawn to dusk, there is not really much time for me to find one. Sure, I've met a few nice girls every now and then, but they all turn out to have someone else in mind. Apparently, I am not sincere enough.

I wish I have someone to share this holidays with. The Christmas lightings seem to taunt me, as i see couples holding hands. Why is it such that everyone around has someone except me? I feel so miserable as I continued along the cold empty street. I knocked into an old lady and sent her flying, her groceries scattered around the precinct. I rushed on ahead and helped her up before picking up her stuff. She seems to be quite shaken by the fall and could no longer walk without any support. Just my luck, I seem to jinx everyone around me.

After bringing her to a doctor, I decided to bring her home. Turns out, she stays in a home for the elderly. I aided the nurse in bringing her back to her room. After seating her upon her bed, I proceeded to leave by the door. She grabbed my hand and urged me to stay. I took a seat by her. She told me of how I reminded her of her husband when he was much younger. I asked about him and she cried. He left her a year back due to a heart disease. I comforted her and she was still after some time. Strange, that I am just like her, we are people who have loved and lost. The words I used to comfort her seem so appropriate to myself. Her tears dried shortly and she fell asleep.
I started to see why I am still alone after so many years, outwardly, I seem to want someone, but actually I too have shut myself in and not allowed myself to love. I left the home feeling a warmth I have never felt before.


A year has past since he slipped away. He left so much memories and so much pain behind. I really wished I could be with him, but how cruel fate is to leave me behind with no drop of poison in his lips to kill me by. Life feels so empty now that he is gone.

The nurse tells me that they are bringing some developmentally challenged children to visit. They hope that the children would bring life to this dying place. Well, it would be a different sight. After all, there is nothing here but elderly folks like myself having lost all hope and are just waiting for the reaper to come. How ironic that with every drip on our IV, our life drips away too.

A bus load of children just arrived. They brought this child to seat by my table, it has been ages since I last had company. Of cause there was this nice young man who brought me back yesterday after my nasty fall. He told me so much comforting words that seem so right, but I just cant put my old man away. Its so easy to say but difficult to do, I can't open my heart just yet. The pain lingers on.

This child that was seated by my table seems so disoriented. He seems unable to focus on anything. Through loud grunts and frantic arm movement he tries to communicate with me, but I just don't understand him. I looked through his eyes and saw that he is desperately trying to get someone to understand him. I empathised with him, for I too am hoping for someone to understand my pain and sorrow. Tears streamed down my eyes as I took his hand in mine and said I love him.

http://hca.gilead.org.il/li_match.html

It's xmas again, and like the most cliche thing to write, write one of christmas. HAHAAHA
This short is inspired by The Little Matchseller by Hans Christian Andersen. The story goes that the little matchseller used her matches to provide her with the moments of warmth and happiness as she was freezing in the blizzard. In Da Same Way, in our lifes, we all seem so sianz and also like so sad. Many times like, no meaning like tat. But then ar, if we learn from tis little match-seller, we can be the matches for other ppl. Warming their lifes and in da process, warming our own too. Enjoy

ahBoey blogged @ 12/19/2006 01:12:00 AM

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

End of Exams

Wahahaha, the exams hae ended at least for me. Well actually mine ended yesterday. Holi,Holi,Holidays are here again and they are here to stay.LALALA...Well, though it means no stress, it also means that I am the family Chauffeur again. Haiz, not that i don't enjoy driving, i just can't stand the morning drive. Firstly, it means i m the only person who wakes at 8 during the holidays. Secondly, i can't stand those Malaysian motorcyclist. I'm not making any stereotypical prejudicial statement. It's just that today they almost cause me to be in 2 accidents, both due to their craziness and recklessness. I know sum ppl here will say that cuz i p plate, it should be my fault, but hear me out. First guy drove at my blind spot beside my car. I needed to change lane, so i signaled, looked at my blind spot. I noticed him, so i increased my speed by 10 km/h that means i m quite fast liao. When i notice him 1 car length behind me i started to filter lane, wah lau then he pia stun. He chased my car and almost crashed into me when i changing lane. Hey if u dun wan me to speed up to change lane at lane 1 of expressway, at least dun suicide leh. 2nd guy, normal road, force me jam brake. Lucky i going slowly. He suddenly kena chu stun wan. Going normally behind me on my left , then suddenly speed up cut me in front wah if i nvr brake in time, he dun noe fly how far liao. P plate drivers, be warned if u c the motorcycle no. plate start with J, Open your eyes bigger than dinner plates. Will be praying for u motorcyclist, take care HAHAHA.

Ok back to what this blog is for. Well, since i ended exams yesterday, i decided to bring my dog down for a walk. He is a Fox Terrier. Its been a week since i walked him, and he is getting crazy. Well, dun wan him to be a bird in a gilded cage, so let him exp some restricted freedom,hehe. need leash la Sg. Well, saw sumting interesting, i saw this couple dancing da waltz at da badminton court, so i wrote sumting.XD Well, da couple, dis is for u. May u grow old together.

Wrote sumting regarding dog also, i trying my old skill in sec school, not sure effective or not hopefully it works.

The Waltz
I took Your hand in mine
And placed the other on my hip
You looked into my eyes
And sang that lovely beat.
The Song that lasted forever,
The Waltz that lasted a lifetime,
That my dear is what we are together.

I led you with my hand,
You led me with your smile.
Full of Grace, elegance and Beauty
Full of laughter, love and Joy
This is our waltz together,
This is our love forever,
My dear I love you so.

You stumbled on my feet,
I stepped upon your toes.
This Waltz is not without its flaws.
The Times I let you down,
The Times I was not there for you,
And still you danced with me.
Our Flaws make us perfect for each other.

The lights dim down slowly,
The music fades to nothingness,
Still in my arms I hold you,
Still in your embrace I am.
I wonder will I hold you forever?
Will we grow old together?
Nothing will keep us asunder.

The dance must come to an end
Though I wish it will last forever.
I led you with my hand,
You led me with your smile.
This waltz we have together,
I know it will last forever,
But may I have the next dance with you too.


Walking the Dog
I lead him by the front,
He tries to get ahead.
Thus, I pick up my pace,
to let him know his status.
I wonder about excitedly,
while he follows behind with ennui.
He holds his head up high,
while I keep mine close to the ground.
I race up the hill, he races together with me.
We ran and we ran,
then we pant and we pant.
Breathless, we stuck out our tongues.
How do I let him know I love his company,
How do I let him know I adore him.
Those magnificently brilliant eyes,
Those jewels that brighten the night sky,
They force me to stare into his gaze.
Then it dawned upon me how to express my affection.
I licked him, and he petted me.

ahBoey blogged @ 12/05/2006 09:38:00 PM

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Finally It Begins

Well, this is the first official post after the intro post. Have written something "Living in Limbo". Ya i noe super cliche title, but then give me some face leh, i dun noe how many yrs havn't written story liao. Rusty. Actually i wrote tis short yest, but then dun noe whether gd enuff, so i let my fren vet first. Haiz Toml still got test, not 11pm i still not asleep, 4am gotta wake up see Dad off to airport, then 1pm test. Hope i dun doze off driving or during testHAHA. Well, with this first short outta da way, can work on next short liao. This wan is a experimental style, so i didn't really put much effort into it, so if its not gd, well tell me howda improve. those w my MSN juz msg me whether u like it or not haha. Those who dun, dun bother lol. So exp style, rusty me and dun noe wat other excuse say dun put me down, give me constructive comments HAHA.XD
Me kawan gave me some criticism on tis short, but i dun wanna edit it, LAZY. juz like i also lazy put too much effort into it, like i said tis wan exp onli. So w/o further stalling,<>


lim·bo1 /ˈlɪmboʊ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[lim-boh]–noun, plural -bos.2. a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date: My youthful hopes are in the limbo of lost dreams. 3. an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place. 4. a place or state of imprisonment or confinement.
lim·bo2 (lmb) n. pl. lim·bos a dance from the West Indies, originally for men only, in which the dancer bends backward from the knees and moves with a shuffling step under a horizontal bar that is lowered after each successive pass.



Living in Limbo
"Woo Hoo, Ord loh!""Wah lau, hard to believe that 2 yrs plus gone just like that""Ya la, finally can get a life that dun need to worry about booking in.""Hey, what are you all going to do before U huh?" "Ai ya, work lor, if not stay at home grow mushroom meh,kaoz.""Kk, need to go liao, see you all on campus k."

This is our story, 3 friends with 3 different roads bound by the same uniform and now the same college. We all seem to be unified in all these, but it is also by these that we live different lives. This is the next step, the first milestone. What will we be in just half a year? What have we gained? 3 different roads, 1 common goal. In our pursue of life, we make our own choices.

Kenny's Blog
Wah, 1 more month to college, still have to work for 3 weeks.So sian, wonder how the rest are doing. Almost late for work again, I think if I am late again, the Boss sure deduct my pay wan. I am really tired of working. It is the same mundane task over and over again, well what can i expect from working on a part-time basis. Come to think about it, I really miss my NS days. Even though, it was really boring then, when I think back on it, there were plenty of thrilling moments. Haiz, 3 more weeks to go.

Woo! First week in NUS, wah my OG super havoc sia. Super seow onz wan. Gonna Go clubbing with OG this weekend. Sure have a good time wan, hope i meet some hot babes sia. LOL

Midterm break just over, wooo still hungover from last night. wah really dun need to choose my poison sia. Got Chivas, baileys, u name it we got the poison. Gr8 Party. Dance til now whole body aches. Dunnoe grind how many ppl sia. Super happening.This term break i really almost every other day go chiong. haiz, lucky got ppl sponsor, otherwise money dun noe grow from where.Now sianz must back to study, maybe got 1 more bash coming soon. That gal, super hot wan,B'day coming, she'd probably organise one wan la, her father so rich. Gonna paint the town red sia. HAHa

Wah so fast,1 sem up liao. Lucky, i got prepare enuff for my papers. Well Gonna meet the guyz for gathering soon. Wonder how they holding up, esp that seow kia, kena rejected dun noe what happen to him sia.

Not in Blog
Actually, what am I doing? Everytime go party, though i feel estatic at those moments, I am actually very lonely. People see me as the Main man, the happening guy, but deep down I just wanna be me.


George's Blog
After working for 2 mths, finally got enuff cash to go travel. Decided to go to somewhere far away. Sg so sianz, everything here also done before liao. Was thinking maybe some nice place in europe, Tuscanny, Prague, Budapest. But then huh, think again, money no enuff. If go this places, dun need to buy comp in Uni liaoz. Well, so kiam siap me choose somewhere not so far, go backpack in Laos.

Well, first week in NuS, the O week quite ok only la. My OG was quite nice but then huh a little buay on so don't dare to try anything. I hear Kenny's enjoying his OG sia. Tat guy summore gonna chiong with them sia. Well, hope he enjoy himself sia. Actually, my og not tat bad, at least we got common interest. Even the gals here also WOW and Dota wan. We starting a OG clan, LOL. Got our own forum and all liao.

Wah Lau, uber shiok sia, Spent the entire weekend chionging WOW and Dota. Got my nightelf level up so shiok. We completed dun noe how many quest together liao. Summore Dota with them also quite shiok, no noobs all quite pro wan. Not like playing some stupid pubbie server, ta pai so many noobs, leavers and the likes wan. Well, haiz mid term over liao must mug again. NVM this weekend we burn again.HAHAHA

Tempus Fugit, 1 sem fin liao, haiz sian sia, cuz of final term papers, mug until no time to play WOW or DOTA. Really wanna pwn ppl sia needa have Momomo..Monster kill. Must own. But bo bian exams, so must mug. Meeting the guys for gathering, they should be adapting quite fine wan, esp tat Kenny uber chiongster now sia.

Not In Blog
Everyday not WOW then is DOTA, when i dun play tis games, i feel so bored, why is this so?

Luther's Blog
Wah Work for 2 months liao still so pathetic my bank account. Wanna lax the next 3 weeks also cannot. Haiz too bad need money cant help it. I not like tat George, so shiok save enough to go travel. Super sian la working, everyday locked up face computer data entry. Haiz, wonder how i gonna last for another 3 weeks sia, 2 mths i dying liao.Really looking forward to school, cant stand this transition period.

O week Juz over. wah shiok manz. Nvr been so crazy b4. Met this really nice and cute gal in O week. Love tat smile, those eyes. The rest of the OG also super onz. O week super fun sia. Well, gonna ask her out. Hope it goes well.

Haiz so sian. Again, she told me busy, cant go out. Haiz, maybe i should give up sia, so meaningless. Dunnoe y everytime i fail wan leh. Joined another sports club last week, Handball. Super exciting sia, the game so fast u kena injure also dunnoe wan. Got bruises everywhere, the ppl tackle like worst than rugby sia. With track and ultimate freesby, that makes 3 sports. Hope this can remove the pain, take up so much time. Haiz, term break over, hopefully mugging removes the pain.

Time flies, its been a sem in NUS. Heart still aches for her, dying for her accpetance but it can no longer be. Well, exams coming. So hard to study, but at least it takes away the fantasies. Meeting those guys end of this mth. Tink they r doing better than me. 1 clubber, 1 everyday play comp games,haiz.

Not in Blog
What happen to me sia? I was a happy person back then. Why am I tearing myself apart? Now even those 2 sad case lead a happier life than me.

The Gathering
Its been 8 months since we met, 8 long months enough to change a boy into a man. We all took different routes, each seeking our happiness and our fate. Time passes us like the wind, never returning, never waiting.
"Hey Kenny, Long time no see, tot u Mati,HAHAHA"
"Wah Lau george, Grow up lar, so lame can hardly walk liao.""Hey Luther, wat up sia. Smile leh, kaoz u look like kena bang by car sia."
"Wah lau how can u say tis, ppl heartbroken leh. Give some sympathy, u tink everyone like u so seow everyday chiong."
"Wah dun like tat say me leh, u yourself also everyday DOTA, buay sian meh."
"Haiz anyway nice to meet u guys too, been so long. Dun noe where the time flies to. So lonely sia."
"Wah dun talk like tat leh, u so many sports will lonely meh, dun because of 1 tree give up the whole forest, 1 cloud the whole sky, 1 porkfloss bun the whole breadtalk..."
"Wah Lau, your analogy even more lame, u say me lame, kaoz."

And so it goes on into the night, they continued chewing the fat. Only through reminiscence of their days in the army do they lighten up. The past that they were so bitter over, how can it be the only one which brings them joy. The present which they were so looking forward to, how can it be that it brings so much emptiness. The future which is unknown, only time will tell.

Find meaning in your life on things that last forever, things that thieves cannot steal and moths cannot destroy. Build your treasure up in Heaven. God Loves You and wants you to lead a fruitful life. Be Happy, you can do all things through God who strengthens You. All the best and God Bless.

ahBoey blogged @ 12/03/2006 11:10:00 PM
♥ Sam's Life♥

Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B
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