This is dedicated in remembrance of those who lost their lives in the cambodian dragon boat incident. i may not know any of them, but i do have some friends who have lost their loved ones. i was a canoeist in my JC days, so i know what it's like to be a rower. Many says that it is the pride and the prestige associated with being the fittest people in school. They say that we want to how lian our bulging muscles and extreme physique. What do we row for? Do we row to win medals? Do we row to show off? I don't think so!! We row to get that extreme exhilaration that comes when the salty spray trickles upon your face. We row to conquer the waves that threaten to slow and scuttle our boats. We row to be faster than the wind. Reading the newspaper, there was this one person who had "as of yesterday, nothing more was known about him." i really wonder what does this mean? Every living person leaves footsteps in everyone's life. As dragon boat is really a passionate team-sport, I'm sure he made a huge impact on the lives of all he touched. There would be family and friends who would have already missed this child of God badly. People whose lives he has changed would wonder what the absense in their life now is. The rest of the world may have moved on in their lives, these lost lives are but another headlines that once was, but to those who have lost someone dear, this poem is for you and them.
Faster than the Wind The Waves rise and the winds roar, The paddles dived down and in circles they go. Soaring through the currents and speeding down the river. All we want is to be faster than the wind.
Pumping iron day and night, Countless chin-ups on the bar Our calloused hands and sweaty brows, gripping on to a dream so far. All we want is to be faster than the wind.
The horn screeched and the race begins, insane clashes of paddle and sea. Again the wind blows in our face, Again the same old salty spray. All we want is to be faster than the wind.
ARGH!!!!! Havn't been able to sleep for the past few nights. Always can't seem to get comfortable. Uhm dun wry it's not cuz I'm upset or anything.. This is getting a bit jialat considering that Monday my first paper would be in the morn. And also I have 2 papers on Monday. If I can't correct this by today, wellz que sara sara. Been studying TS all week, finish reading Martin Eslin, but juz lightly touched the notes. Uhm dun really know if I am prepared, i seem to cover so little and know so little too. Can't seem to focus, partly due to the lack of proper sleep. Uhm this is not exam stress, cuz i dun get exam stress wan. Nonono, It's not becuz i know my stuff or i am prepared, juz tat i dun get exam stress cuz i dun really stress easily. Yeps not cuz i zhai, but cuz i'm weird. Wellz lying on my bed, all is still, haha i play lotsa sudoku while lying stilll waiting for the sandman. So my mind is occupied, and yet so much stuff float by. Past, present and future. What is my path and what have i been walking so far? Tomorrow would have an interview for children's church, yeps been helping out for close to 4 mths now, so would see where i can be allocated. Minds- main focus now on camp, can't get venue so far and failed to get letter from the school also. Haiz, my efficiency as PD is super low lor, can't get things going. So far, all my ideas are not implemented yet. Hope that they would go well once the exam break over. Been worrying lots about someone. Have not seen her for some time, and really really miss her. Dun noe if she is doing well. Though she assures me so, I still can't shake the nagging feeling that she is not. yups, juz a nagging feeling that she is unwell. Most of the time, this feelings are spot-on and it really really freaks me out. Wellz, can't do anything but pray. Yeps been praying lots for her. But really hope that i would know what's on with her life. Haha i quite pathetic rite! Things have been going really really well for me this week. I know it is truly by God's grace as i dun deserve any of it. Truly not by my works, but by grace. However, though i am grateful for his providence, I still am not really happy. I worry too much I think. Strange that i would worry for someone else more than myself. Haha, i know guys in NS would say that seow-on Ah Boey Tou Hao Le Mei(Head ok already) was already like tat, but that was juz i dun wanna leave anyone behind.
Hope all would be well and i would be able to sleep. Gotta shake this weird feeling and stop worrying. Needa start worrying about myself, haha why i so weird dun worry about self worry about others. Love this song, Rachel Stevens in S Club 7. Haha she looks so good Muahahaha(Hum Sup me mooning over pretty girl again, hehe regular skirt chaser, chao Buaya[smelly alligator]). OkOk gonna try sleep again. OooooH!My dog dreaming, heard him make weird noises again. Kk Nitez all! Muz catch 40 winks!! S Club 7- I Really Miss You
The More Loving One by W.H. Auden Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread them from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return If equal affections cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am Of Stars that do not give a damn I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly one day.
Were all the stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.
Cheong stuck this onto Stella's locker. This was a play i just did, "Fast cars, Fancy women". Interesting faustian tale. Uhm, ya in case u were wondering, I played Eddie Goodtime, the devil's advocate. Apparently, I was the unanimous pick to be the evil dude. Yeps!!
Wellz, wat happened at the end of act 1 is that stella avoided cheong and smashed his bdae gifts. There was a moment of connection between them before, when both were reading the little prince. A look on the little prince, uhm 1 part about the rose. The prince loved the rose, but the rose lied to him and as such the prince couldn't find it in his heart to shower her with the affections he did before. Stella avoided cheong due to the materialistic values incorporated into her by her friends and her mum. After a while, the friendship they had soured, as Stella felt his presense annoying. Cheong juz took the pain alone and juz "died".
In act 2, Cheong came bk rich and successful. Stella had a couple of failed relationships due to her searching for the wrong men. She wants a men with a fast car. Cheong, being successful and rich, courted Stella and they were happily married. Or so it seems. Cheong engaged the help of "Eddie Goodtime"(The Devil), selling cheong's time to achieve his goal, which is to win stella.
The end is kinda sad... Nopez, they did not end in divorce, it was much worst. They were still together and yet so distant. Stella didn't get any love. Cheong was no longer the romantic which he was in act 1. He only cared about money. Stella got her fast car and cheong got his fancy women. But Who is really happy?
It's kinda sad to see how love dies. In the newspaper a few days back, Sumiko Tan was commenting on the rising divorce rates, how love died. Yeps, both muz make an effort to keep the passion going. When one gives more than the other, it is still alright. But not when either feels he or she gives more or the other party gives more. Also, in Cheong's case, they waited too long. They didn't try to get to know each other better in act 1. If they did, It's be a fairy tale. So Cheong suffered alone, embittered and such. The human body is an amazing thing, once u have too much pain, it automatically numbs u. Such that the next pain that comes ur way is hardly felt, and in time none at all. However, this is not a good thing. It comes at a cost, to feel no pain, u would also lose your joy and hope. No Joy, NoHope = No pain.
Sad, Isn't it. I think so too. Oh, Why am I up at this crazy hour writing such nonsense. I can't sleep, DUH!!!! Also, have not written stories in a long time. This is to intro the next few stories i gonna write. It's gonna revolve around 1 theme. PhiloPhobia-Fear of being in love, loving and also having sumone loving u. Philo=love Phobia=Fear.
This is perhaps the weirdest question to ask now, especially since it's like 1 week to the examination. But strangely it is the question i really need to know and must. No no, this ain't no emo post, it's not any weird thing that happened to me, just that lotsa things have been happening and God is very faithful.
I'm a proud person, super high ego and self-esteem. Since the days of my sec school yrs, never once have i backed down from anything, i always seem to know what i want and how to get it. Always standing up for what i believe in, never bending my back for 5 dou of grain(haha chinese idiom). Anyways, this sounds super bhb i know, but that's juz me. Muahahaha.
Yups, that's me, always fighting, so much so that people who get to know me think of me as strong. Persevering. Wellz, here's the truth, you all overestimate me. I'm super duper weak. I succumb to temptation and anger, fear and hatred, and jealousy. Lust and such, I give up easily. I'm not a fighter, i don't fight for what i believe in. I'm a miserable person, always wanting to hurt people around who don't seem to deserve what they have or get.
Yeps, i'm quite a wretched person. Sorry to burst the bubble. But that's not all, i think badly of people, despise them, think of ways to hurt them. I think of ways to get what i want, and never let anything stop me at it. BUT WHAT DO I REALLY WANT??ALso, I'm a hypocrite, i say one thing and yet it burns deep in my heart, I do things and yet am afraid that no one would know. I compare myself with others, i set standards which are not GOds.
Yar, I'm quite a character. But this is where it is really wonderful. Like I said, this is not an emo post. Oh another thing really really terrible about me, I always question God about my life and such. Why things dun work out? Why am I in pain, Is it worth it? Where are You? Show me a sign, and another, and another.
Isn't it horrible? Haha, but here's the good part. No matter how pathetic I am, God is always there for me. Jehovah Jireh, My Provider His grace is sufficient for me. "'My Grace is Sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me." 2Cor 12:9
Time to say How wonderful it is. Whenever I am down, i question God. Whenever I succeed, I take all the credit. Amazing thing is, I question, he shows me a sign, he send me people to encourage me, he let me experience peace that is from within. When I worry, He reassures me. When I cry out in agony, he comforts me. Sounds super cliche right, but His timing has always been perfect. When everything tells me to give up, when i turn to leave,(ppl who really know me would know that when i turn to leave, i never look back) he sends angels to call me back.
He's been so wonderful to me. What more can I ask?
I just got back a test script today, by His grace, I did a lot better than what i expected( cuz was really busy before, with TS rehearsal, MINDS camp, Con Amore, Driving Mum the nite b4 sleeping at 230) Yeps, didn't have time to study also. Truly when we least expect it, He is there with a wonder.
Wellz, i know i am not a good person. i know i let many ppl down. i know i do a lousy job comforting ppl, or encouraging them. But when I let Him work in me, all the right actions and words come out. So, back to the question, Who Am I?? I am a Child of God, and my God would do everything for me.
Been wondering what song this is. I really really like it lots. Yeps not my usual genre or type of musik. But then haha i dun really care about genre, i juz like good music. juz tat jazz and such usually have lotsa great stuff. Haha heard it today again and finally found out what song it is. 月牙湾 f.i.r.
Eh dun tink i'll be blogging often nowz cuz exams coming. Hehe anyways this is a fun song. Dancing on the Ceiling-Ella Fitzgerald
Another nice song. Also will dance on ceiling one. hehe maybe i should get my footprints up there too. "Excuse me my lady, may I have this dance?" You're All The World To Me-Fred Astaire
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B 15031985
