Been really up to my neck in work this days. So much so that I really am neglecting my studies. But I wouldn't say that I am beaten, for the Lord my God sustains me and keeps me.
He protects me from temptation and protects me from myself. Anger subsides within seconds and peace fills my heart.
This Sem is gonna be a hectic sem, with all Mods having project. Also, will try for application to as many opportunities as I can find if there is a space and I'm not too busy.
NVAC stuff and MINDS Stuff. I dun like to do NVAC stuff unless it benefits MINDS, been doing lotsa NVAC stuff recently. I love doing things for MINDS even though it is super tiring. I hope that I'd be able to spend more time with my kid though, cuz being PD means I have to neglect my kid now and then. But Thank God I still have plenty of time with him still. Heee the recent Dragon Kiln experience was extremely rewarding and worth all the headaces. Truly all Glory belongs to the Father who makes all things good for those who love him.
I know the road ahead isn't paved with jewels and my bed of roses is far behind. Strangely, I am not plagued with matters of the heart this sem, in fact I feel very blessed. The Peace grows and I know God will continue to fill my spirit.
Was worried about V day and what it might do to me, but I know that my God will fill me with peace. CNY will also be a tiring event cuz of planning for MINDS, I know that My God will make it wonderful fo my children. I love them and He loves them even more. I pray that each day He will fill me with more love to overflow and bless these children.
Got blessed me with 12 names on the calling list today. Was 2 in the aftnn after lunch, was praying desperately and then the peace came and I no longer worry about it. This is not the first time, God has been really amazing and awesome.
My favourite verse comes to mind all the time, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed everyday."
I may fall behind at times, My God does not push me, He carries me up and fills me. That's how I know that I serve the Living God.
I just got rejected from The Ridge. They say my article too abstract. SO decided to publish it anyways HERE!!! Muahahhahaahahah. Eh the topic is dey choose wan.
Apathy Dragging my feet from day to day, trying my best to survive from dawn to dusk, after which I would go home to prop my feet in front of the TV. A slave to routine, my life seems meaningless. Searching for meaning, I punctuate each week by going out with friends to chew some fat or to paint the town red. Weeks and then years past, my futile effort to find myself brings me to a point of melancholy where life fills me with ennui and languor.
Isn't this a dreadful picture? Wouldn't you want to steer clear of such a life? However, this is the life that everyone in Singapore is living, especially most Graduates. We'd work day to day in a job that would grant us no satisfaction just because we are able to pay the bills. Right now, we would say that this is untrue and we'd be disgusted at such a suggestion, but if we don't do something, this would be our reality.
Singaporeans have been commented on being apathetic. Do we truly don't care about issues or is there a deeper problem? I see apathy as the lack of emotions, not just the “bochap-ness” of issues. Apathy is a real problem that would fill us with languidness and blight our very being. We would all lose the passion to change our situation and then we'd be all caught up in a vicious cycle of dread.
Why has this poison been so effective? In our meritocratic society, where second chance is as rare as diamonds, people are afraid of failure. We do not dare to step out of our comfort circle to risk it all. We fear anything that is uncertain and as such we do not dare to care for others. Our self-centered nature forces us to close up. As such, we are unable to grow. The critical nature of society also discourages us as we do not live up to the standard of the world. We constantly try to keep up with the standards that others place upon us that we neglect ourselves. The venom is fast-acting and acts as to cripple us. We become terrified and fear to do the right things. Afraid to be touched and also to touch others, we lose ourselves.
We are not without hope, there is a panacea available for such malaise. However, we must be brave enough to take it. Only by learning to break this cycle can we truly be vaccinated. We must learn to experience joy and in abundance. We do not get joy by being the same as everyone. It is only derived from being ourselves. Learn to take that step of risk. Learn to touch others around you. Do not let the world make you another victim of apathy.
Thank God for everything. Thank God for opening my eyes.
Many times in our lives, we fail to see the goodness of God in our lives. We become blinded by everything that the world, our flesh and the devil place before God. In our christian walk, we always place everything before God. God has just become a convenient God. We place sin, pleasure and laziness before our Lord.
I'm saying all these because obviousy I'm guilty of it all and more. Sin will cloud our vision of God and would make us feel that we are distant from His Goodness.
Lots of things happen in my life.These things have caused me to be blinded. They make me fail to see what is important and cause me to lose the passion that once sparked me.
I feel that, for some time now, I had lost my passion for MINDS. Especially ever since I took up the role of PD. My volunteering experience has diminished. I think it started when I was switched from a younger 10 yr old trainee to a older 20 yr old one. In the beginning, it was ok as I just spent the time playing with him. Then I realised that it is not what I want.
I don't want to spend my time volunteering playing, i want to make a difference.( notice here that it is all I,i,i.) As weeks go by, I made a plan to teach new stuff to him. There are a few social skills and life skills I need to teach him. So i tried.
However, it was very difficult as I kept relying on my own strength. He would know it for a week and then forget the next. I felt as if he was playing me along. I saw that he was only interested in playing and seem to be toying with me. So I got kinda disappointed.
Nopes, I did not fall to anger and scold him. Even when he plays, there is no limit, and he hurt me physically or somebody else, thank God that he keeps my anger in check.
I got very melacholic about going to sessions as it has been spent scolding him firmly, not angrily. That is not why I volunteer, I don't want to spend my time scolding. Even though, I admit initially i couldn't, but I learnt from seniors. I really respect my seniors who can be so firm with their trainees and yet never lose their drive. They know what is good and seem to be able to persevere in order that their trainees get something good out of it.
All these just remind me about my relationship with God. He has always persevered, as He knows what is good for me. Even though I am a horrible christian, He never loses his cool nor his patience. His drive continues as He knows He is molding me. For this, i am Thankful. I hope that I'd be able to be guided by God's love to act accordingly for my sessions.
I want to learn to be like my cell leader's wife, always thankful everyday.
Added this song on my playlist, removed the Xmas songs and added the vid for this song too. Sweet Dreams of ME, Juz as I have sweet dreams=)!! Selena-Dreaming Of You
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B 15031985
