Its now more than 2 weeks since the end of exams. Have decided to devote more time to tender loving care of my better half. Will work on some scales and patterns to improve my techniques. Have decided on practicing downward cycle fifths and ladybird turnabouts. Muz also work on chords and extended dominant seventh.(WAH sounds so cheem, actually i juz pull out the mumbo-jumbo to make u all think i super pro, no lar juz needa practice sum patterns and licks and improve my ear)
I'm still looking for job, but i wan sumting that has a testimonial, i dun really need money. Still surviving(will not resort to begging yet,haha).
Have been doing some basic training, so i'm still not fat and flabby yet. Haha, I'm still capable of running circles around all u NS Khakis(BLEAH, who ask you all slack never train). lalala, i got gym at home so too badz to all. Can maintain basic fitness and strength.
Reading lots of books lately, even chinese books. Have decided to take this break to mug up my cheena. Muz make sure it become tokong ennuff to pass off as cheena-piang. Actually i find chinese books more fun to read. Although i havta spend lotsa time flipping through the dictionary. But then, it makes for a better read.(Ai Yo, I becoming 'yellow' again) But hey, I like both my languages and my dialect. Will continue to work in these 2 langs and canto.
Oh oh almost forgot. This is an experimental Story. I know i bery long no write proper story liaoz, so this one is for those who waited. A bit abstract. Will seem like no flow at first.(Hint, hint!! EAsier to follow the flow if u follow the fatigue lvl of the narrator.) If still can't follow, means i'm really horrible at doing this and i wun attempt such weird writing style again.
The Running Man We all live in silhouettes of yesterday. A time when our words jump right out and our deeds scream through the silence of our memories. No time to pause for thoughts during then so only memoirs of past laurels or sad regrets remain today. We don't recall why we do the things we do, just an emotional gap that is left. Words that pierce and deeds that burst, sometimes the pain lingers despite not remembering what happened. Just an emptiness that echoes in the silence of our memories. I don't remember what happened in the past week or so. Heck, I don't even recall my name. I don't know how I got here, or even why am I in this place. I'm as weak as a kitten now with tubes and wires all strung around me. A single ward in a hospital which I know not where it is. All is still and that leaves me much peace to gather my thoughts. Scattered all around the corners of my mind, I don't seem to remember much. All are but fragments and pieces of a jigsaw with missing links here and there. The crucial ones, those that give the slightest hint of the complete picture, they are the ones that are missing. The silence interrupted in syncopation by the many beeps of the ECGs and EEGs, and also by drips and drops of IVs. As I gaze into the drips of saline solution that fall with a specific rhythm, the tempo leads me and I slowly recalled what happened. In fragments still that is, though they still make no sense, I'm sure that when the pieces are all there, I'll be able to see the picture. A lady in a white nurse outfit enters. With a huge beaming smile that stretches from cheek to cheek, she bid me good morning. According to my little nightingale, I'd been asleep for a day. There was no ID on me when I was admitted, so my name is now John Doe. (You can call me J.D. for short) I'd been diagnosed with acute retrograde and also acute anterograde amnesia. In other words, my memory is not all its cracked up to be. Apparently, now I have problems with recall and also placing new items into my memory. They tell me that there is no physical cause for my case and that it could be a dissociative fugue, as if I know what that means. Ha ha, they can't even tell me in layman's terms because even if they did, I won't recall the moment something distracts me and it leaves my attention.
(Shock)I don't know how far I've come now, but my legs seem to be leaded like the shoes of divers. I can hardly lift each leg in front of the other. No reason have I left to carry on my journey to a destination I forgot. My breath feels short and shallow, rapid and yet its cycle is broken just like my steps which i stagger to keep moving. Like a drunk with a lethal dose of alcohol, I hobble along the path. I have no peace, feeling disturbed by an illusion that has faded. Shock at a mirage that is no longer seen. Its not anger i feel inside, there is hardly any adrenaline rush. My blood sugar level is almost depleted as my eyes gradually become bleary. A rush of emotions fill me, I am dismayed at something that was and has ceased to be in my mind. Am I losing my mind? Probably, I can't believe the most precious things in my life would have disappeared so quickly just like a flickering flame extinguishes at the slightest gust. Then again, what were those precious things. Dismayed at my ineptness at memory, I mean how can i forget what is most treasured in my heart, my reason for living each day, my source of strength that lifts me through the depths of the chasms before me. I'm not heartless, I just can't remember anything anymore. What is my name? My legs gave way and I collapsed completely dehydrated.
(denial)The pain in my leg seem to disappear, how far have I gone? They are still here, they have not disappeared like everyone says. My love, my darlingest, precious jewel that lights up the night sky, tey are all still here right. Like the moon that hangs in the night without fail with each passing day, the only exception being that of a lunar eclipse. Yeah, that's what it is, an eclipse. They were gone for just a short while and now they are back. I will never let them go. No way. I'll protect them with all my might. Pearls of perspiration gather at my brow until they form huge beads that trickle down my cheeks. They are not tears of sadness, just sweat of fatigue. Barely maintaining a cycle, my legs can hardly hear the beat. The concerto of the night continues playing despite a lousy musician being unable to keep up. It'll not be long before the music fails to cover it up and then all will fall apart. I don't believe a thing that is said at all. The journey carries on. I'm not tired, I'm just walking to recover.
(ANGER)Argh! @#$%^&! Stupid leg hurting after only a few kilometers. Everything is #$*(#^ falling apart. Stupid weather, where's the wind when you need it. Isn't it suppose to be night, then why does it feel like some #@%(* hot day. That lousy shrew said those crap to me and I took it lying down. Stupid woman, and she was suppose to be my better half.(Depression) Why didn't she stand by me when I needed her most? We may have lost plenty, but we had each other, now she's gone and left me alone. It just doesn't rain but pours. Bad luck comes in threes, you'll never believe all that has happened. We lost him and then I lost her. I thought we could hang in there if we were together, but we became selfish in our sorrows, we lost ourselves and each other. We railed at each other and then railings led to wailings. Losing him was more than I could bear, and now I've even lost her. The gloom travelled down to my legs, and they slow down their pace to play a slow samba on the ground.
(Acceptance)Its been a week since he died. He was my beloved brother. We loved him so though he had Lou-Gehrig's Disease. He was 21 and I was 27 when he passed. The illness has plagued him since he was 19. My wife and I watched him waste away as the days go by. I knew he would one day go and it would better be for him to go. However, though ill he was, he never was woebegone. Not a day departs without his beamers showing his teeth. Lighting up the otherwise melancholy house, so intense was his energy despite his muscular atrophy that we can't help but share his joy. His love for life let us believe in miracles. Now, he is gone. She left shortly not able to deal with the pain, back to her mother's place that is. I'm here all alone in the shadows. A week has past, and I feel his smile again. I can't sleep yet, think I'll go for a run.
We're all running from place to place. Without any specific destination, we continue deep into the depths of the night. We run away from our problems, towards our own Utopia. I'm feeling tired, time to stop running away and time to start running toward a better tomorrow.
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B 15031985
