Thank God for everything. Thank God for opening my eyes.
Many times in our lives, we fail to see the goodness of God in our lives. We become blinded by everything that the world, our flesh and the devil place before God. In our christian walk, we always place everything before God. God has just become a convenient God. We place sin, pleasure and laziness before our Lord.
I'm saying all these because obviousy I'm guilty of it all and more. Sin will cloud our vision of God and would make us feel that we are distant from His Goodness.
Lots of things happen in my life.These things have caused me to be blinded. They make me fail to see what is important and cause me to lose the passion that once sparked me.
I feel that, for some time now, I had lost my passion for MINDS. Especially ever since I took up the role of PD. My volunteering experience has diminished. I think it started when I was switched from a younger 10 yr old trainee to a older 20 yr old one. In the beginning, it was ok as I just spent the time playing with him. Then I realised that it is not what I want.
I don't want to spend my time volunteering playing, i want to make a difference.( notice here that it is all I,i,i.) As weeks go by, I made a plan to teach new stuff to him. There are a few social skills and life skills I need to teach him. So i tried.
However, it was very difficult as I kept relying on my own strength. He would know it for a week and then forget the next. I felt as if he was playing me along. I saw that he was only interested in playing and seem to be toying with me. So I got kinda disappointed.
Nopes, I did not fall to anger and scold him. Even when he plays, there is no limit, and he hurt me physically or somebody else, thank God that he keeps my anger in check.
I got very melacholic about going to sessions as it has been spent scolding him firmly, not angrily. That is not why I volunteer, I don't want to spend my time scolding. Even though, I admit initially i couldn't, but I learnt from seniors. I really respect my seniors who can be so firm with their trainees and yet never lose their drive. They know what is good and seem to be able to persevere in order that their trainees get something good out of it.
All these just remind me about my relationship with God. He has always persevered, as He knows what is good for me. Even though I am a horrible christian, He never loses his cool nor his patience. His drive continues as He knows He is molding me. For this, i am Thankful. I hope that I'd be able to be guided by God's love to act accordingly for my sessions.
I want to learn to be like my cell leader's wife, always thankful everyday.
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B 15031985
