Hmmz, realised that I've got no more stories to tell, maybe this writer's block would mean this blog's death(oh my haha super bad rhyming again, i'm so addicted to doing this)=P
Okok, enuff lame jokes. Anyways, i guess that i'm too caught up with everything that i think i am deaf. Everybody is screaming and shouting, even myself, that it is so hard to listen to God's voice, which comes as a whisper and yet to all who seek Him, it is the most distinct. Maybe i've juz lost all sight of the cross.
Went to church today at 11am for the 2nd service, got 'kicked out' of chldren's church. Sister Lee Noi asked me to attend 2nd service instead, cuz i missed first service as i was giving stupid excuses to sleep in. came home early last nite, so no excuse. The service was good, the songs were old but good, the sermon was good, but sumting is missing. I juz dun sense the presense of God, i mean i do feel good, there is the nice tingling feeling u get when u worship, but my heart is distant. Am i juz putting on a facade? where is my heart?
For MINDS, yesterday was quite ok. Wow! His(can't put trainee's name) place was like wow. It was even featured in the newspaper before. They have a big pond, many herbs and beautiful paintings. His dad is amazing, painted beautiful paintings, he planted many herbs in tat garden, and even designed the irrigation around the house, the watering all use rainwater wan, and the pond also auto change water, again using rain water. The house designed to be cool and max lightting. I really got eye dun noe tai mountain(wanted to say tarzan). Heee, he(my trainee) prepared the french beans and some of the food.
After which, we went to mycofarm mushroom farm. Uhm nothing much to do there, but good thing i only plan 1 hr. The good news is that i got everyone up the bus in 5 min, (although a little trickery involved, not really intended though) the bad news is i left 1 volunteer behind. Again telling me The best laid plans of mice and men, i really havta learn to pray more and depend on God more.
There was a lot of happy things going on yesterday also, lots of nice sms, haha my sms super high with these nice sms-es. Heee, we've been smsing so much=P no money liao=P Hmmz, but i still need to stop and get bk my direction first. I dun wanna cause U these pains again, so i really have to take this time to juz be still and pray. Glad we settled things on friday, cuz when i saw U in class with those eyes, my heart broke. Then i knew for sure what a jerk i am. i'd been giving in to all sorts of temptations, anger, jealousy, lust, hatred. Lies are still being constructed, and i'm almost getting tricked still. Still highly immature and highly insensitive to the things of the spirit. Still selfish and ego. that's y i need to get things right with God now. I dun noe how long i'll take, even after this days, after the break, i may still withdraw to just get things right with God first.
Hmmz, cant seem to get silence with everybody juz shouting and shouting. Dad is away, mum is lonely so would keep finding us to talk, but sum times, i juz need sum silence, i noe isuper unfillial in tat sense, but i cannot keep listening always.
Work is all piled up, i'm ready to be buried 6 feet under with assignments.
All the more, I need to find back what i've lost, I need my God more with each new day, and i hope i'll learn to depend on Him.=)
Anyways, i dun noe how things would be, i dun noe what i have now, i dun even noe what is happening in the present cuz i super blur. What i do noe is tat God noes, and He will never let us down. As for me, i have to learn to throw away those lies and lust and jealousy and hatred the devil has planted in me. i also have to release the past. I noe i've been super hard on u and tat things have also been super hard for u. I wun promise u i'd always be here, cuz tat's wat the hot water bottle and the cd is for(KIDDING). Nar, i meant i dun like to promise things(haha tat's y u dun hear me promising much=P), i dun even like to say things for the future, juz let my actions say all and sit back knowing that through it all our God is in control. I need our GOd cuz i'd only make things spin outta ctrl, haha i wanna spin in control.
Have decided to use this cuz louder Piano.=) I need to be Still.
Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School(92-97)
Presbyterian High School (98-2001)
Pioneer Junior College (2002-2003)
2 yrs lost in time
Nus Fass(2006-
D.O.B 15031985
